I guess the heads are cracked in my car. Now I am looking at finding a new one, but the only question is, how long will that take.. I really need a car as soon as possible. I feel terrible for having John help me because it just makes things even more inconvenient for him and I know there are a lot more productive or relaxing things he could be doing. However, I am beyond grateful that he is wiling to help me the way that he does. The past few days I have also felt rather nauseous and I am hoping like hell that that feeling goes away quite soon.
I’m just so far overwhelmed with being a broke college kid. I mean school and working are slowly kicking my ass and I’m just not sure how long I can keep going at the pace that I am before everything blows up in my face. I mean if John weren’t here I wouldn’t know what to do and I would probably be planning to scoop my head off. I mean there are certain times when I get in the mindset that I hate my life, which certain aspects I do, but I do have a few very wonderful aspects of my life. I have a wonderful boyfriend but other than that it doesn’t seem like I really have anything else. I used to have friends that were actually around and cared enough to make plans and keep me updated. Anymore though, very few of the people that I used to consider my best friends even speak to me at all, let alone anyone actually wanting to make plans. It just blows my mind on how drastically things can change in a short amount of time and then again how drastically things change over a span of a few years. I am nowhere near the same person that I used to be before everything that has happened in the past few months. It just seems weird to think that the people who we consider our friends can affect us more than we ever imagined. We may not realize it until after, but they can affect everything right down to your outlook on life as a whole. I just wish the people around me didn’t really have an affect on me, but I know that’s asking for a little too much than anyone is going to get.
I just hope things start getting better because this string of terrible luck is starting to get old really quickly and I’m sick of just about everything that has been happening. I need things to start looking up.