Operation Finish 2k16: Installment 4

As 2016 comes to a close I can honestly say that I’m more than ready for it to be over. I’m not one for making New Year’s Resolutions or anything of that nature, but I do think the concept is intriguing. However, anyone who sets goals just at the beginning of a year is just plain crazy in my book. I don’t know how people can go through life and not continuously reevaluate and adapt their goals whenever they see fit. Whether it’s daily, weekly, monthly, etc… once a year just isn’t enough in my opinion.

This is one of the first times that I haven’t had any solid New Year’s Eve plans. No one offered and I didn’t think of any specific person that I would want to do anything with. There’s always John, but I actually don’t know if he has plans of his own. He had been tossing around the idea of going to hang out with Crestani, but I haven’t heard any updates on that in a couple days.

At the moment I’m just in a weird mood. I haven’t figured out if I’m just stressed out or what the deal is. Seems to be that nothing that I try to do has been effectively making me happy the way that it should. Food isn’t as satisfying, I’m consistently distracted, and I don’t know what I want to do after graduation…which is coming quicker than I’m prepared for. Don’t get me wrong I want to be done with college, but I have no clue what I want to do after I finish. It’s not like I even have that many hobbies to keep me occupied. One of the things that I’m concerned about is that I’m not going to be able to find something that I like to do and it would result in me becoming increasingly clingy towards John. We live together and everything, but I try to give him some space at the same time.

Needless to say I’m just hoping that 2017 might be a little better than the last few years. I have a sliver of hope that it will be, but it isn’t exactly starting off that great…

Operation Finish 2k16: Installment 3

My internship training started off being a little discouraging. There is just a lot of work that needs to be done. Today we all took the mid-term styled exam for the first half of the book. I managed to get a score high enough to pass for the exam. I just want the training to be over at this point. I don’t think that I’ll mind the job part of it that much. Going through the training on my own, as opposed to in a group, would be much more beneficial to the way that I learn. I guess it wouldn’t be as bad, but I have trouble following along the way that Miriam, my boss, is going over the information. She seems to be glossing over certain sections that we end up needing more detailed information from those sections and then we have to go double back and recap. I would be much better off if I could just take the extra time and read through the entire chapter.

Aside from that I have at least been getting along with my fellow interns fairly well. It was a little weird at first, but I think we’ve broken through most of the initial awkwardness. Them finding a local dead body upstairs definitely managed to bring us together as a group. Having that day in common gave us something to unite us together, even if it did come at the expense of some random woman. I mean what are the odds that she was found a few days after we started our internship considering she had been dead for, they believe, about a year and a half.

Still hasn’t been any progress with our pipes from what I can tell either. I know that John had some plans, but the holiday and the weather have been throwing a bit of a wrench into things. I just wish there was a way that I could magically fix all our plumbing issues and take some of the stress off of his current situation. I feel terrible, but I know that if I push him too hard he’s just going to implode. At the same time however, I can DYING to be able to shower in my own bathroom again. Hell, it’s been at least two months…and I can definitely say it’s starting to become increasingly frustrating by the day. I’m starting to get upset with John over it, although I know there isn’t much he can do at the moment, which is making me feel even worse about it…

 

Operation Finish 2k16: Installment 2

Today was a little less productive than I would have liked, but I still managed to get a few things done overall. Some of this was due to my lack of ability to sleep last night. I had slept for a couple hours before John got home from work, but then I had a lot of trouble trying to get back to sleep once he decided he was ready for bed. Then, I actually woke up before my alarm even went off. Given my restlessness, I just got up and got ready to go to my neurology appointment.

By the time I was done getting ready I realized I had a little bit of time to spare before my step-dad was supposed to be here to pick me up. I took advantage of the time and updated my to-do list for the day. From there I started working on the Christmas cards that definitely should have been sent out already. However, I’m giving this year a “better late than never” when it comes to a lot of things in my life.

The neurologist that I was referred to by the people who did my lingual nerve repair surgery doesn’t seem to be helping all that much. The last time that I was there, before today, she told me she wanted to wait a year and see if anything changed. Well, when I got there today that’s exactly what she told me again. She didn’t bother to do a damn thing about the entire left side of my face, neck, and part of my shoulder being numb… but yeah, let’s wait another year and see if anything else happens. Last time I was there they told me that if there was going to be any nerve regeneration it would happen within a year of surgery date… As of right now, the year mark was actually three days ago… So I’m not very hopeful at this point. I would definitely have to say that I’m getting used to it being numb. There are days where I barely notice it anymore, but if I think about it or if someone asks I can instantly tell that it still feels exactly the same. I have also noticed it if John touches my face or shoulder. I can tell that he’s doing it, but it just doesn’t feel the same as if he touches my right side. I’ve pretty much accepted that the left half of my face is just going to be numb at this point. If a doctor wants to try something I’m all for it, but no one even seems to know what to try at this point. Even the neurologist that I have been seeing has had to ask for assistance from another neurologist because she wasn’t even sure what could have happened. From what I can understand my MRI results were fine, my blood test results were fine, and my nerve looked fine when they went back in to see if it was damaged. Given all of that, I shouldn’t be numb according to them, yet there it is…

After going to the neurologist my step-dad and I stopped at Home Depot. This was the first that I have ever been inside one. Whether it’s just this location or if it’s all of them, the organization inside this store was so terrible that it actually hurt my head a little. The entire store is such a cluster-fuck, pardon the language, that I have no idea how anyone can find anything they’re looking for. They had make-shift isles that were about 10-15 feet long and had one way in, but not enough room to turn a cart around, and didnt’ have an exit area. So to get in you either had to leave your cart in their already narrow isles, or push it in and walk backwards to get back out. I didn’t see anyone attempt backing out while I was there, they just seemed to leave their carts haphazardly in the isles, in the way. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely chunky, but I’m not that bad. There’s no way that I could have even passed one of their carts in the main isle with the way they had all of their Christmas display areas set up. We spent about a half hour looking for some cordless planer that you couldn’t even buy in the actual store. They were only available online and were even out of stock there. I set it up for them to send an email whenever the item does get back in stock, but I have never tried using their system before so I don’t have any idea how long that’ll take.

After shopping we drove to Lamar to Denny’s and got lunch. John had finished installing parts in his truck at this point and met us there. The food was delicious as always and I ended up bringing leftovers home because I have trouble finishing my food when we’re there. Once we finished eating John and I headed back towards home, but we didn’t even make it there before the garage called and said his truck was done being inspected. From there we turned back around, picked up his truck, and then headed to his parents to drop off the car that we have basically been borrowing all summer. We ended up being there a lot longer than I planned, but it was nice to see them at least. I’m just hoping that we can get through the holidays in one piece and get 2016 over with. I’m beyond over this year and I want to get on with my life.

I finished up the Christmas cards when we got home tonight and then started right in on my insurance renewal application. It’s primarily just a giant pain in the ass and I’m glad that I don’t have to think about it any longer.

New twist: I found out earlier today that I have to start my internship a lot sooner than I thought. I actually have to be there at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning to start tax school training. In the mean time, John opened a couple of his Christmas presents. One of which was a shot glass so we’ve been drinking off and on this evening. I plan on putting a decent dent in the bottle of wine I opened tonight also. It’s an Apothic Inferno 15.9% bottle, which I’ve been looking forward to opening since the beginning of the semester. John bought it for me shortly after the semester started and we indirectly ended up saving it for after finals.

Operation Finish 2k16

Now that finals are over there are a pile of things that I have to finish up. I managed to put a small dent in the things on my list today, but I have a long way to go. Later today I have to go back to the neurologist and see what they have to say about my face still being numb. It’s been about a year since I was there last. There hasn’t been any progress, but there hasn’t been any deterioration either. I honestly have no idea what they’re going to do about it.

I got a few of my grades back as well. I managed to pull off an A- in my Capstone class! I never expected that to happen. I got an award at the end of the class for group presentation abilities, which is now framed on the wall as well. I also got an 84 on my final exam for operations and productions management, which is a lot better than most of the exam grades I typically get. So I’m definitely happy with the way my semester is shaping up.

Today I did manage to finish up the Christmas cocoa mix jars I was making. It actually ended up costing me about $2.00 per jar to get everything done. It was definitely worth it in the long run. It took me a little while to get them made, but I’m happy with the way they turned out. On top of that I managed to fold all of our clean laundry, list a jacket on eBay, balance my checkbook, pick up my birth control, and prep two of John’s eBay packages for shipping. Doesn’t seem like a ton of progress, but at least it’s something 🙂

Pipes…

Over the summer we started having drainage complications with our pipes. At the time I didn’t think anything of it and it has just gotten increasingly worse. For the past month we’ve been trying to avoid using our sewer lines at all if we can help it. Needless to say that’s been a giant pain in the ass. I’m approaching my breaking point with the entire situation unfortunately. It hit me pretty hard this morning and by the time I got to work it was bothering me a lot. So I, more or less, gave John an informal ultimatum about the pipes. I know that he has been hard on himself about the entire thing, so I didn’t really want to push him at first because I knew it would just make things worse. However, the ground is going to start freezing and if he doesn’t do anything about it then we won’t be able to replace the pipes until spring. If we have to wait until spring it’s going to drive me completely crazy by then. Hell, it’s already driving me crazy now. I’m just hoping that he doesn’t get upset with me for pushing him to get it done. It’s been worse because they’ve had him working days and it’s dark before he even gets home. Getting him to get up before work is like trying to pull teeth and stresses me out even more… There aren’t too many options to work with here and I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do if he doesn’t get moving on this project.

I would hate to think of him as a “starter”, but that’s kinda what it looks like at the moment. He has a handful of projects that I’ve noticed he started, but the odds and ends never get finished. There’s minor painting of the trim in the gun room that still needs attended to, the carpet needs laid, and a door needs made for the attic. Then the other day I was standing in the driveway while he was at work, just looking around, and noticed that he hadn’t finished staining the outdoor table that we’ve had for a while. I know there are a few projects that he has definitely finished, but there are also several that are still sitting in queue waiting for his attention. Maybe I’ll actually have a decent amount of time to help him after May.

At this rate I’m so looking forward to being done with school. I’m just terrified that I’m not going to be able to find a job. I have no idea what I even want to do and I feel like I’m not qualified to do any of it even if I did see that someone was hiring. I have absolutely no clue what I want to do with my life. At this point, I don’t feel like I even care what I do for a job, since working isn’t what I want to do anyway. I would much rather be a house wife than anything else at this rate. I desperately wish I had the time to do the things that need done around the house and it kills me that I can’t.

What the Royal Hell…

We’re currently one week away from finals. This will be my last full week of classes for the semester, followed by finals week. I have a couple exams to study for and a few final group presentations to take care of. At the moment these few things seem like they don’t even matter. I found an internship for the spring semester with Jackson Hewitt. I will primarily be doing individual tax returns for people. They don’t do any corporate returns or anything like that so unless someone has a personal business it shouldn’t get too complicated.

John and I have decided to put a hold on our open relationship status and focus on our relationship together for a while. Things have seemed better between us since we decided to focus on the two of us. It doesn’t seem surprising that things got better, and I’m definitely happier with it. We also set a wedding date for March of 2018. This coming March was just too soon to try to get everything ready and I should graduate in May so that should make things a little easier. I’m really excited about it and I’m excited to start planning, but I think I’m going to wait until after graduation to start the core of the planning. At the moment I just don’t have the time.

However, the main plot development to my life at the moment is something entirely out of my control. Don’t you just love those? I know I do… Anyway, to the point: My mom decided to run off to live in Connecticut with my current step-dad’s brother Lynn. It’s literally as messy as it sounds unfortunately. My step-dad is devastated and my mom is pretending that everything she is doing is perfectly fine. I would yell at her if I thought it would make any difference, but I know that she would just ignore me and then play it off like I was being mean to her and then make it my fault for attempting to get her to see reason. When it comes down to it I don’t really care what she does, but I don’t agree with the way that she went about it. There is certain protocol to follow and she completely disregarded it. Hell, she didn’t even say goodbye to my sister or me, let alone tell her husband that she was leaving him.